Our Warrior Rests

I got really busy after my last post but I figured I'd have lots of things to write about in the upcoming months; the holiday season is always good for a blog or two and this past Thanksgiving, T was a member of the All-State Marching Band that was invited to march in the Macy's Day Parade.  The DC/NYC trip with my family and 700+ band members and their families in all its chaotic glory would have garnered blog-worthy fodder that would easily have taken me into the new year and, possibly, beyond.

Then in early December, my SIL, Jean, passed away and everything seemed to stop.  Perhaps her passing should not have been a shock; she had triple negative breast cancer that had metastasized to her liver and bones.  But Jean's strength, her tenacity and determination to beat this damn disease had me convinced that if anyone could get through this, it would be her.  She fought hard and with dignity for just over a year and for those of us who are so far away, the news that her treatment was no longer working seemed to come from nowhere.

I will always be grateful that I got to see her one more time. Her strength was evident even then; she was sitting upright in bed, her eyes alert and aware; there was no anger there, no bitterness, no worry.  Just a strong sense of peace and acceptance and what got to me the most, genuine concern for MY health and well-being.  I told her I loved her but I hope she also sensed how much I appreciated her; she was my friend, the mother of my much-loved nieces and the perfect person for my brother.  She was his partner in every way and I know he is more complete because she was in his life.

It took me a long time to decide to write this entry--not because I did not want to honor Jean, but because I couldn't imagine being able to adequately combine our sense of sadness for losing her with our sense of joy for having had her in our lives.  We will always miss you, Jean, but in so many ways you are still with us; in the holiday you loved so much, the food you made, and in the character you instilled in your children.

Wearing o' the Pink

Mitchell Boyd, OL, #76

My mastectomy was just over a year ago and though I know that my body has been changed significantly, for the most part the surgery and its lingering aftereffects are no longer foremost on my mind.  Since it's not exactly a going concern for me, I am always awkwardly surprised and amused to find it is for those who know me.

For example, my colleague JY and I don't cross paths as often as I would like, but when we do, she always asks how I am feeling, while very carefully avoiding any downward glance at my chest.  I know what her intention is and I appreciate it but the so very pointed way she keeps her eyes fixed on my face actually makes me squirm more than if she just moved her eyes normally.  It doesn't help that she is very petite and is normally at my chest level anyway.

The flip side of that are the people who think they are being subtle when they steal quick downward glances.  Today I saw one of the ladies who subbed for me during my absence last year; she said hello to my face, stared at my chest for a second then said, "How ARE you?"  I wish I could have thrown my voice to make my chest respond...

I never kept my health a secret so many of the current seniors were aware of the situation even though, at the time, they were not actually in my class.  Some, however, were not.  One of the oblivious ones asked if I intended to give blood at an upcoming blood drive:

"I can't right now." 
"How come?"
"Because I had surgery within the past 12 months."
"What surgery?"  From the other seniors present, "Shut up, stupid!  You know which surgery; the one..." (accompanied by a wave of the hand in the general breast area)
"Ohhhh, THAT surgery..."

The juniors were sophomores at the time and since I was actually their teacher, they are the ones who were most affected by my procedure and subsequent 6-week absence.  Whether it's because they were all in the know from the very start or simply because they are just a different breed (when compared to the seniors!), their concern and their many ways of expressing it has always felt natural and easy.  JP would screech, "Boobies!" when she saw me and slap me a high five.  She was the first to hug me as soon as she knew that it was not painful to do so. DM would say, "How are the girls, Miss?"  They'd offer to carry things for me, pass things out, lift things.  Even after I assured them I could do these things for myself.

I don't have the juniors for class this year but I still feel the same warm concern in the little things they do; popping their heads in during recess or passing time to yell hello, bringing me flowers on my birthday, writing little cards and leaving them on my desk for me to find. Yesterday, I received one of the sweetest tributes I have ever had.  MB, an offensive lineman on our school's football team, showed me a brand-new pair of bright pink football cleats that he bought to wear for Breast Cancer Awareness month in October.  Then he asked me to sign them.

A 200+ pound lineman wearing hot pink cleats for me.  No other honor will ever replace this one.

The Real Ninja Turtle

Minka the Russian tortoise and Chestnut the box turtle have a common wall between their enclosures.  A few months ago, I started finding Chestnut on Minka's side happily engaging in what he thought was mating behavior.  According to photos I've seen, he had the correct general idea.  His hind feet wrapped around her hind legs--check.  His body nearly vertical and then a slight tilt backward--check.  The rapt expression--check.  But no contact.  Perhaps someone should have shown him the photos because Minka is just not built the same way a female box turtle would be. 

Despite the obvious lack of rewards, he just won't quit.  Getting to Minka means scaling a cinder block wall that I have gradually been increasing in height just to make sure that he stays on his side, then a drop of more than two feet into her side of the enclosure.  Until yesterday, we weren't even sure if he was indeed climbing or if he had found a chink in the wall somewhere.  I just happened to look out the family room window and Eric managed to catch the culprit in the act:

See the little stinker on top of the red brick near the fence?

His efforts earned him a quick trip back to his side of the pen and additional bricks added to the wall.  We'll see how long that holds him!

Farley and Dog Behavior 101

When Kirby was around, I came to the conclusion that all dogs come equipped with a built-in reference manual that tells them how to respond to affection, stuffed toys, the prospect of a walk, an unhappy human, the mailman, etc..  You know, the kind of behaviors guaranteed to elicit a happy human response, which in turn, would generate a warm cycle of appropriate action and positive reactions.


Well, judging by Farley's antics, either his manual is defective or large sections were left out of the final editing.  I give you, Dog Behavior 101, The Farley Edition:

"Chapter 1:  Operation Affection":  Lean hard against your targeted human while gazing adoringly and blankly up into her face.  If her arm does not go around you on its own, you must encourage it by jamming your head into her armpit.  Be prepared; she will resist, so persistence is key!  Continue wiggling your head forward till the skin on your face is pulled back toward your neck and your eyes begin to bulge from the sockets.  This will freak the human out because popped eyeballs are a real danger in shallow-socketed dogs.  Use the fear to your advantage.  Bug your eyes out till she decides you are a danger to yourself.  Her arm will relax and automatically circle your body.  Mission accomplished.

"Chapter 2:  The Walk, Part I":  Walks are fun but it is important to get revved up before you even step outside.  When you see the human heading for the door, run in wide circles around her; if there is another dog, crash into him a few times to see if he will join in the dance.  If the human starts to sound exasperated, drop immediately into a sit--this action always convinces her that you are trying to do the right thing.  Now for the tricky part:  the leash.  Since you are not allowed to leave the house without it, it behooves you to get it in place as quickly as possible.  When the human begins lowering the loop, attempt to leap into it.  If your legs get tangled and pulled into awkward positions, keep trying.  Flailing wildly while panting loudly works wonders.  When the human leans over to adjust it around your neck, leap up onto your hind legs and hit her in the face with your nose and slobbery tongue.  Hear that noise she just made?  She appreciates the kiss! 

"Chapter 3:  The Walk, Part II":  She will make you wait before you exit the house and she does not want your help in opening the door; it is strongly suggested that you keep your right paw to yourself.  Now you are out the gate and on the sidewalk!  Here's where the real fun begins.  Walking your human helps her to keep in shape.  Varying your speed and direction without warning are good ways to keep her on her toes and will ensure that her mind stays agile; it helps to charge at leaves that blow by and lizards and roaches that scamper past as well.  One day she'll thank you.

"Chapter 4:  Demonstrate Your Loyalty":  Dogs are supposed to be loyal.  The best way to show your human your loyalty is to follow her incessantly.  If she goes to the bathroom, follow along and lay as close to the door as you possibly can.  If it fits, stick a paw underneath so she knows you are still there.  When she is carrying a large load of laundry down to the washer, accompany her down the stairs.  It is essential that you stay close to her feet and just when she thinks you are staying to the right, cross over to the left.  It's never a good idea to be too predictable.

"Chapter 5:  Sharing is Caring":  Nothing says, "I love you," like sharing what you have with the one you love most.  Shedding fur on black suits is always appreciated.  Wiping your dirty mouth against the couch cover is, too.  Grass, dead leaves, burrs and twigs can easily be collected with wide sweeps of a fringed tail--be sure to hit your human with said tail a few times to get her attention.  You don't want her to overlook the opportunity to treasure hunt.  Not after all that effort you put into gathering debris in the first place!

"Chapter 6:  Leave 'em Laughing":   Roll around on the couch with your legs in the air; it helps to have a long tongue that you can allow to loll to one side while in an upside down position.  Sit on the lawn and smell the dandelions.  Back yourself up against the nearest available leg and gyrate up and down.  And remember, always leave them feeling better no matter what state of mind they start out with. 

All Hail the Mighty...V?

T and I went to watch "Harry Potter" today.  The movie was good and I enjoyed it but I got the biggest laugh from one of the commercials that played prior to the film.  It definitely falls into the category of "Whoa, didn't see that one coming!"  I thought it was funny but there are a number of feminists who have their balls in an uproar over it.  Though I can see some of their points, I decided to let this one go.  T's reaction said it all:  "Really?" I only wish this blog could capture that mingled tone of disbelief and you're-kidding-me-right? tone in his voice. that pretty much said it all.

Just click on this blog's title and it'll take you there!

The (modified) Food Quest

As my sons are less than intrigued by the idea of "questing" and are more focused on the "consuming," I decided to expand our Food Quest; rather than focusing only on places we've never been to, I decided to include some of our great neighborhood eats--and there are a lot!

There is a little mall called City Square on Dillingham Boulevard--most of us don't know it by that name; we identify it as "the place where the DMV is located" or, if you are really old school, it's "where Gem's used to be." If you make your way behind the DMV and Chuck E. Cheese's, you will find a small wealth of good eating places and locally owned shops such as Ko'olau Farmers and Kalihi Pet Center.  Pancakes and Waffles can be found on the Kohou Street side.

I am partial to "breakfast" food and have no problem with eating it at any point during my day.  In addition to the expected offerings of bacon and omelets, P & W puts its own spin on classic dishes such as Eggs Benedict (beautifully poached eggs with Hollandaise sauce on 2 little, crispy brown waffles), and fried chicken and waffles (either served with brown gravy on the side or honey butter.  One dish that C especially loves is vinha d'alhos, a vinegary Portuguese pork that is reminiscent of Filipino adobo.

The meals run in the $10 and below range but servings are generous--the chicken and waffle plate comes with one large waffle and three large thighs!  Definitely enough to share or to satisfy the most significant of appetites.  Other pluses:  parking is plentiful and service is courteous and brisk.  A few downsides:  since they are only open till 2 PM they do get crowded; going during non-peak hours (10 AM, or so) is recommended;  drinks are self-serve and food is brought to your table after you order at the counter.  Minor points, but ones that some consumers may consider important to know.

Waffles for brunch, pancakes for dinner.  What's not to love?

Food Quest, Day 4.5

After having lunch at Choi's Garden, we ran a few errands and decided to stop off for some shave ice.  When you consider that Hawaii has perfect weather for shave ice and my family really enjoys eating it, you would think we would take the time to get it more often.  One of the biggest deciding factors for me is both places we frequent, Shimazu on School Street and Waiola on, well, Waiola Street, have horrible parking situations.  Shimazu is on a main thoroughfare and though there is metered parking nearby, on really hot, and therefore busy days, one's chances of getting a nearby slot are rather slim.  Waiola is on a corner in a fairly quiet residential area so parking is on a wherever-you-can-squeeze-into-that-does-not-have-a-fire-hydrant basis.

On this particular occasion, we found a nice sized space immediately across the street.  So far, so good!  Though there is always a line at Waiola, the service is brisk and we were munching on icy, fruity snow in minutes.

C ordered strawberry and lilikoi, I had lychee and strawberry and T decided on mango and lime.  Waiola's best qualities are a powdery, fine-textured ice and real fruit syrups that they make themselves.  The lychee syrup was nearly clear but fine bits of tan pulp were visible against the white ice.  Yummy stuff. 

We haven't eaten at Waiola since last summer and the one thing that disappointed us this time around was all of us had a fairly substantial white core in the middle of our cones where no syrup had gotten through.  There was a time when the syrup was uniformly distributed throughout--which of course, is one of the elements desired in a shave ice. 

We have been patronizing Waiola since the kids were small and working up a hyperactive lather at Old Stadium Park, just around the corner.  One of the things we always looked forward to was the promise of shave ice before we turned homeward.  Maybe the syrup thing was just a fluke.